How to Date as a Polyamorous Person on OkCupid
Polyamory Dating on OkCupid
There are many websites online that are great for polyamorous/polyamory dating, OkCupid being a great one! One of the best reasons OkCupid is one of the best is because it allows for extensive searching options, especially if you are on their A-List. However, A-List is not needed. First, you will want to create a great profile, one that separates you from everyone else on OkCupid. One of the huge issues on OkCupid is the fact that profiles are bland, boring and basically rehashed information across all of them – who wants to talk to just another person that has no unique qualities? Not me, that’s for sure! So make a good profile. List all the fun things you enjoy doing and that everyone else would find fun doing with you. Make sure to keep it simple, don’t make a massive profile with 30 paragraphs. Nobody is going to read through that mess. So have fun, keep it simple and make sure you are being yourself! (Dudes – Don’t put selfies of yourself in a mirror showing off your abs. That’s great, you have abs. Just like every “dude” out there, nobody wants to see that crap)
So now that you have a decent profile, start answering questions! After you have answered around 200-300 questions, go to Browse Matches, then sort by Non-monogamous. This will bring up all the people that have selected in their relationship type as Non-monogamous. Unfortunately, it seems like not a lot of people fill out this question, so it can help, but it’s not great.
Take advantage of this area! It’s quite overlooked. Putting in keywords such as “searching for couple” “we are married” or “looking for…”. These help refine your searches even more and can pull up all the people that have these words in their profile.
This field is where you can select if someone is single or not-single. Having this set as not-single can bring out many people that open to a Polyamorous type of relationship.
A-List Feature: Open Relationships
If you have A-List, you can go to the advanced questions and type in “Open”. The question about the willingness to join in an open relationship, select “Yes”. From here you can see everyone that is willing to even allow this type of relationship!
Overall, we both love OkCupid and is by far our favorite of all the websites we have created profiles on. So what are you waiting for? Get on there and try it out yourself!
Writing an Effective Initial Message
Your first message should not be something along the lines of: Hi, Hello, How R U? etc. Keep it simple, but not THAT simple. My wife’s profile gets around 3,000 views per day and most of her messages are simply 1 word to one liners. That’s it. So if you send a short message, don’t expect a response. Go to the person’s profile, find something you two connect on. Don’t go with a tv show, music or food – those are way too overused. Mention something else, like if they enjoy crafting, or hiking. Then ask them a question about it! It’s really that simple. Also; try to sound excited. Nothing is worse than a message with no heart or feeling in it. If you can do this, you will get a response! This doesn’t mean you will connect, but you can at least get the ball rolling.